Butterflies

Did you feel that, Mom? Was it fun? Questions from my son, after some turbulence flying home from Alberta. Yup, that was fun I say lying through my teeth, gripping the armrest as though it can actually save me if the worst occurred.

Why is it I can easily accept the notion of death until life flips upside down (not literally) and spins me out of control (slight exaggeration for effect). Really, it is not difficult to acknowledge death on a cognitive level because it is a fact of life, we know that. Don't we? Yet, when faced with a real possibility (or a perceived possibility) of death like this incident, my heart beats faster, well more like a pounding jack hammer under my sweater. My mind starts filling up with inconsequential thinking like how is my kamma bank. I am acutely aware that I'm not in control, and we are at 35, 000 feet high and traveling hundreds of miles per hour above the earth.

My son, on the other hand is enjoying cloud potholes. Bring on the turbulence, the rougher the better says he. Love those butterflies, he laughs. I say, so do I, to which he replies you're lying, mom! You can't hide from a kid. It is true we accept that we are going to die, but, not really.

I surrender, and take a moment with a meditation focusing on my breath. All is good. I'm here for the ride.